Every day Ukrainians are accumulating innate pain by seeing new outcomes of Russian aggression and other`s crippled lives. Many feel this sympathy to such an extent that they begin to say it is their fault for what happened because their lives are more or less peaceful. It is called a “survivor syndrome” - it dissociates a person from their own pain and makes them suffer from shame, feel indebted to others, and underestimate all the efforts they made to help their relatives and friends. “Why was I late?”, “Why didn`t I do it that way; I was scared; I made a mistake?” These are the most common questions people can ask themselves in such cases. The Charity Fund “Direct Inclusion” describes how to overcome this condition.

More on mental disorder

“Survivor syndrome” refers to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but it often comes as the most noticeable stress symptom and deeper person`s disturbances.

The most effective ways to help yourself and your closest ones who feel guilty for being intact are:

  • Words of support (“It was not your fault,” “You did everything you could,” “You couldn`t change that”);
  • Keeping to the day schedule;
  • A talk with relatives about feelings and disturbances of one another;
  • Doing everyday tasks;
  • Looking for new hobbies;
  • Not immersing yourself in grief, limiting the periods of grief, not exaggerating with visits to cemeteries and places of tragedies.

What are the causes of the syndrome?

There are several reasons why we can experience such emotions. For sure, some may feel their “guilt” thinking that if they could return to the past and change something, the tragedy could be avoided. In this case, it`s crucial to differentiate between the past and the present. It`s best to ask for help from qualified professionals and close relatives.

It may happen that Ukrainians who were forced to leave their homes and flee to a region remote from the frontline/abroad also can feel the guilt. The explanation is that their relatives and friends had to stay home, suffer from constant missile attacks, and be afraid for their lives. It must be remembered that everyone is responsible for themselves, and if you feel that you need to move to a safer place, you should listen to your inner voice. None of us is to blame for our homes becoming dangerous, but everyone should take safety precautions. Charity Fund “Direct Inclusion” reminds us: if you don’t feel like dealing with inner troubles on your own, there are always specialists to contact. Don`t be afraid to go to psychologists when necessary!